Run Away, Girl!!!
I love how this story has gotten so much national attention... I've heard many people get all over this woman's case but I don't think people are making a distinction between her actual crime (calling 911 and making false statments to authorities) and just the fact that she ran away and "made her family worried sick". There's no law against running away, especially when you're 32!
I personally feel sorry for this lady. It's another example of how peoples' lives control them and not the other way around. I'm amazed at the level of pressure on single people for marriage. I think it's worse for women. Especially women in the south... and 30-something women... even worse for 30-something women in the south that attend Baptist churches. And the pinacle would be a 30-something single woman in the south at a Baptist church who has been planning a wedding for 600+ guests and no less than 28 (!!!!) members in the bridal party. Can you imagine how this thing could have just taken a life of its own?
Didn't anyone see any signs of this? The pastor of the church was "counseling" them... I would have expected him to see some signs. But having gone through church pre-marital counseling, I'm not too surprised. It's not very rigorous and would rarely discourage you from going forward with the blessed event. You'd have to come out and say "I hate him and I don't want to get married". And even then I'm not sure they wouldn't just try to convinve you to marry SOMEbody! And what about the fiance? Dude, your bride just ran away... more than just cold feet! She planned it.. she cut her hair to disguise herself! She was running from YOU mf! Or at least the life she was about to embark on w/ you. This is a sign... let her go if she wants to.
Run, Girl! Run!
posted by chewie at 11:58 AM
8 Comments:
Ok...FIRST OF ALL...You GOT to stop hatin on the South boy! When's the last time you spent at least 2 years of your life living in the deep South...non of this I live in VA that's the South crap either! I'll tell you first hand it's not always what it appears to be. Come visit my home sometime I'll show you the deep south and you'll never think the same again! :)
But, you do have a point in that this guy is crazy! This girl spent how many years in school for her medical degree, is probably just finishing and getting ready to practice...she's been a slave to school her whole life, now she's bright enough to plan her escape but not even realize she'll suffer consequences. Personally I wouldn't want a wife that was that confused about life currently. Sounds like she's doing some serious self-searching to me. Not to mention that's the cruelest break-up ever - nationally tell the world that you would rather go to jail for a year than marry this dude?!?! If he took her back now he's an idiot!
On another point...What the crap! Why isn't anybody discussing our retarded legal system! You run out on your husband and you face jail time for making a phone call and causing the police to ACTUALLY have a task to do (since we all know the only other thing they do is slap REAL criminals on the wrist and write speeding tickets) and you look at a misdemeanor! Get REAL!
3:34 PM
haha! I lived in the south for 5 years and it was conservative enough. Elle, you have to realize that you are WAY liberal and progressive compared to most people in the Bible Belt. I'm sorry to have to break it to you, but I think it's a compliment! :)
What this girl did wrong was call 911 and say she was kidnapped. She lied to the authorities. What she should have done was call her parents or fiance and say that. It's OK to lie to your mom, but not uncle sam! :) I doubt she'll get much more than a slap on the wrist.
And waht's w/ your anger at the police? c'mon now! They have a hard job... chasing criminals and people like this! The legal system on the other hand...
On the fiance... he obviously loves her and she's at least independent enough to wig out about the nuptuals, so I'm not sure he'd be an idiot for taking her back. I think she'd be an idiot for GOING back! RUN!
4:20 PM
btw, I failed to completely answer your question: Raleigh, NC from 1996 until 2001. And don't tell me NC isn't in the south - it's the THIRD state south of the Mason-Dixon line!
1:01 PM
I see your point and I like the different perspeCtive, but to me you are dangerously close to falling over the "don't take personal responsibility, blame fill in the blank" cliff. She had a choice, she chose poorly and she must deal with the consequences. I know that I've made some very stupid choices in my life and that others might be tempted to say "oh, he did that because his father was a minister" or something else and there may be some truth in that. Ultimately though, I own my actions and I must take responsibility for them. At 32, it is time this woman did that as well. My $.02.
1:46 PM
Actually...I have my own ideas about the South and what is and what isn't and that's another blog topic completely maybe it'll give me something to post about in the coming days...check for that...but as for cops...sorry if there are any respectable cops or family/friends of who read my opinion on cops, b/c I know there ARE some respectable cops, but they are FEW and FAR FAR FAR between! I have NO respect for cops WHATSOEVER!!!! But again another topic completely...lol (ok cspew you got me riled up on 2 topics in just one blog congrats!)
So this idiot girl and her wedding...yeah that's VERY true she could have called her family, but they still would have called the cops and the story picks up where we left off. And it is tax payers money so maybe a fine pay the tax payers back so to speak, but jail time! Get real! She didn't do anything wrong except be an idiot. Don't get me wrong Robert..She SHOULD Definately pay for her consequences ESPECIALLY at age 32 for something so juvenille, but What did she really do? I think to be quite honest the media should pay her fine for her, look at all they have to talk about b/c of her! lol (only kidding...of course SHE should pay) but jail time and a misdemeanor PLEASE! It just screams how screwed up our legal system is.
The Fiance is STILL the idiot for taking her back, she'd be stupid not to go back though...how many guys you think she's going to find to marry her now? Either she should go with this one, start shopping at the looney farm, or be happy with her singleness.
I can't imagine being married to someone as unstable as her! Are you for real!!!
2:14 PM
rm, you're right... I'm getting dangerously close to that line of personal responsibility. My point is that calling 911 is the crime here, but running from the wedding w/o saying anything isn't a crime. How that gets judged is up to the legal system at this point.
But back to the responsibility thing, it is a delicate balance between responsibility and freedom. If you're responsible 100%, then you should have been free to make the choices 100%. I don't know this woman or her life, but I can imagine a scenario where she's been basically told what to do all her life and she HASN'T been very free to make the choices she really wants to deep down (maybe not in so many words, but between the expecations from family, society, fiances, and churches I think there is obviously some pressure there). So when she finally snaps we step up and say "OK, this is all your fault - you have to take responsibility". Well, if we want to assign responsibility we have to give a proportional level of freedom. My assertion is that that level of freedom was NOT there.
I admit that I am taking a leap here in a situation that I don't know about very well, but I'm taking that leap to give her the benefit of the doubt.
And if I turn out to be wrong, that's fine... but this idea still applies. I bet there's plenty of women out there who ARE in that kind of a situation. Really makes you stop and wonder in what ways each of us lives our lives according to a set of expecations instead of how we'd really like to. Left unchecked for 20 years or so and presto: Midlife crisis!
4:18 PM
Thank you Cspew, I detected no hint of bias in the last arguement..what fun! I totally agree with you though. Too many people live for what they "should" be doing rather than what they are wired to do from birth, and they get "stuck" and it's just a train wreck waiting to happen...case in point.
12:55 PM
And now her record of shop-lifting...girl's just got issues from birth.
10:56 AM
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